God Won’t Erase your Pain. Here’s Why:

 Categories : Listening to God

 

In The Return of the King, Tolkien asks one of my favorite questions, “Is everything sad going to come untrue?” We need to ask this question too. It isn’t enough to ask if good things will come true. The world is broken, and we need to know someone can fix it.

When you experience a deep loss, even imagining that some day the pain will go away can be painful.  But one of the things I love most about God is that He doesn’t numb our suffering, or erase it.  He carries our sorrow. He promises to transform, and ultimately reverse it.sting

So the Bible asks a similar question: “Where, O death, is your sting?”.  It’s a gutsy question.  Only someone with the power to make even death untrue would dare ask it. We caught a glimpse of this divine reversal after our lives took a disappointing turn.

  • After months of squeezing into tight quarters, we were offered a house that’s bigger than any place we’ve ever lived.
  • After months of eating mostly lentils, our kitchen was generously stocked.
  • After months with very little clothing, we all had warm clothing and shoes.
  • After months of watching our savings dwindle, we received several financial gifts.
  • After months of isolation, friends and family embraced us.

God made so many sad realities come untrue in a short time that it was overwhelming.  And puzzling.  If we went everywhere God wanted us to go and obeyed him the whole time, why did he wait until our journey ended to provide abundantly for us? I don’t pretend to understand, but here’s one thing we’ve heard repeatedly from multiple sources:

This isn’t the end.

Here’s what I do know: once I acknowledged my sadness and fear of failure and moved forward in obedience anyway, I felt a new freedom. If I could obey past this fear, other fears couldn’t stop me either.   Taking what looked like a step backward was my greatest victory on this journey so far.

No matter what loss you’ve faced or what lack you’re experiencing, God can make it untrue.  We’re still waiting for Him to transform our pain.  But He will. Even death will lose it’s sting.

What part of your life “stings” when you think about it?   How can you actively give that ache to God, so He can carry it, and  transform it?



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  • Tracy

    I can really relate to your story living a similar thread of what the heck did you ask me to do that for and leave me with nothing to show to the rest of the world for it? All I can say is that I keep coming back to the same two questions as my answer, “Will you do it anyway, just because I asked you to?” and “What if you can never, ever see the reason or prove to anyone else I asked?” Is this logical? Not to my pea brain. Feels like the absolute definition of faith. No matter what my brain says, no matter what my friends say, no matter what the evidence shows, He is faithful. And the grace is in that usually, He gives me a morsel to go on when I run low. Just in case I’m weak in this area. A little tidbit to encourage me on a bit longer down the dark tunnel of stepping out in faith. Hang on sister. The promise is worth the sacrifice. You are loved. Even if you have completely and utterly miscalculated, misinterpreted, misread the heavenly email, He has not taken His eye off of you and your family for one single moment. And this is where the reward is. I really believe that. Your heart is for obedience at the greatest risk – mortifying, debasing, degrading proof of wrongness. But if your motives are to follow His heart, I don’t even think wrongness is in the universe of this equation. Hugs!

    • mlekallio

      Your vividly written response lets me know that you’ve tasted uncertainty first hand. Thank you for your honest encouragement.

  • http://www.HisInscriptions.com Deborah Perkins

    Hannah, I shared bits of your story this morning with my 12-year-old son, who said in response : “Maybe God was testing them to see how far they would go for Him.”
    I don’t know if that’s the case, but it is interesting to me that your life focus is on listening to God, and your journey very accurately reflects that. I’m sure the purposes for this will unfold in the coming days!

    • mlekallio

      That’s what we’re counting on! Thank you for sharing your observations, and those of your son. Sometimes it’s helpful to see our situation from another person’s perspective. Blessings to both of you on your journey!

  • Rosten

    Psalm 4:6-7 – “There are many who say, ‘O that we might see some good! Let the light of your face shine on us, O Lord!’ You have put gladness in my heart more than when their grain and wine abound.”

    I’m really happy for you guys in this new time of abundance, and I pray that it will be a time of healing, rejuvenation, and deepening faith. But even more than that, I’ve been so encouraged to read along in your journey about the ways that you guys have lived into that Psalm.

    • mlekallio

      Rosten, I appreciated the way you described us as living into that Psalm. We’ve talked a lot about aligning our life with prophetic promises, and it’s definitely not something we can force or manufacture. We can make plans, but we can’t make things unfold in a certain way. But we do pay attention to principles, and live those out as fully as we know how. Your description describes the balance between being intentional and being surrendered perfectly. Thank you for that.

    • Rosten

      Also, you guys should totally move to Abilene. As long as you’re okay helping me renovate the house you’d be moving into.

      • mlekallio

        sounds like we have a lot to talk about!

  • Steph Jans

    Hi Hannah! One thing I know for sure is God hardly ever is predictable or makes sense logically. Never. I appreciate and admire your faith and obedience in so many ways and greatly look forward to this “no fun” sad part of my life to be a thing of the past. I am sure to others it totally looks like I am “stuck.” Stuck on my illness. Stuck in my lack of ….. whatever word. But I am not here FOR them. This is going to come across as rather blunt but I don’t give a rats ass what others think because no matter what it is it will be UNTRUE. Ha Ha.. there you go. They don’t live in my body daily. I could go on and one about ME but whats the point. THIS is the path I am on. All I can do is point to the periods of VICTORY I have had. I have had some. It’s not visible but it’s there. It’s a challenge for the average person to constantly reframe things to what they DO have. Let alone someone who has the brain soup mix I do that tends to come and go. My life looks “SAFE” to many I am sure of it. It’s NOT. UNTRUE. I take risks EVERY day since I don’t always know how something will affect me. Signing up for another WCER class as a teacher was a RISK since I have no clue if that will be a “good day” or “bad day.” So….. again not to go on and on about me. It’s about HIM. He is GOOD. Do I feel it. NO> I just have FAITH it’s TRUE. I praise God for how he has used you Hannah in my life. I would SO like to have the capabilities to HEAR more frequently… I need to TRUST they will come once the “brain soup” dissolves. I am yet a year later being constantly challenged with my “old paradigms” that just don’t fit anymore. Time will tell how it all plays out. In the mean time He is there for us in “thriving mode” OR “hibernating mode.” Have a wonderful time of resting and debriefing with your family. Warm hugs…

    • mlekallio

      I can appreciate the difficulty of trusting yourself to hear and discern accurately during times of vulnerability and illness. I’ve experienced it myself, and i know how painful it can be to wrestle for everything that most people can take for granted. Yet you have arrived at a revelation of truth that many people never fully absorb: it isn’t just about you as an individual. It’s about his family, his kingdom, his glory displayed in our lives. You can trust this truth no matter what. Perfect shalom is and will be yours.

  • Lil

    Maybe God was seeing how you did in this assignment because He has something bigger for you ahead, your willingness to give up all material things to follow Him. Thank Him that He is in charge and He knows what is best for all. I think of all the people you have touched in the past 9 months. Maybe you have given them a different way to look at their life. With Our Lord nothing is wasted.

    • mlekallio

      You’re right. We definitely felt that it was another phase of testing/preparation. If I’ve given people another way to look at life, that would be another great outcome. Thank you!